New Approach
by gluon
Summary: Rachel adopts a new approach in her quest to seduce Mr. Schue.  Does it work?  Is her name Rachel Berry?


"Hi, Will."

"Rachel! Hi. 'Will'? You've never called me that before."

"True, and where has it gotten me? Nowhere, that's where. So I thought I'd try a new approach, especially as we're not in school this morning and you're looking so virile and handsome today that it makes me weak in the knees."

"Should you be commenting on my physical appearance, Miss Berry, or on the state of your knees? I'm your teacher. Does it not connote a certain lack of respect?"

"Au contraire, Monsieur Schuester. I respect your boyish good looks, your voice, your leadership, your hard work on our behalf. In fact I respect everything about you. By addressing you as 'Will' I'm exercising my free will to include you among my cherished companions, who would not be such if I did not respect them. Surely you prefer that to my slavishly obeying the outmoded formalities of a failed institution where one might address a teacher by their family name yet not bear them any respect whatsoever."

"Cut the crap, Rachel. What are you really up to?"

"Don't be coy, Will. I can pull that off, you can't. You know very well what I want. _You_. I've wanted you ever since I saw you lust after me when I finished my audition for glee. I know that look."

"That wasn't lust, that was my reaction to your very beautiful voice and the passion and joy with which you sang."

"Cut the crap, Will. Do you have any idea how many guys, and I don't just mean students, want me after hearing me sing? What difference does it make what it is about me that gets to you? The important thing is that _something_ about me gets to you. And if that something contains beauty, passion and joy, as you so eloquently put it, then that's romantic and sexual. I'll take it and so should you."

"I won't deny you have a point about the psychological impact of artistic expression, Rachel, and I won't claim that I'm immune to it in general or with respect to you in particular. That being said, however, it would be inappropriate for a mature adult in a position of authority to leverage their psychological advantage to extract sexual favors from a nubile, overly emotional adolescent who happens to be their student."

"The only thing you got right about me in that harangue is the 'sexual favors' bit, because, believe me, after four months of non-stop sex with Finn Hudson and relentless study of multiple manuals on the subject, sexual favors are exactly what you'd be getting. You have no idea what I'd do for you and to you. Terri, Emma, and Shelby all in your bed together couldn't come close. Hell, I'm not even sure any of them would come. No disrespect."

"You're insane. You're a semen vampire. You'll attach your vacuuming sex to mine and drain me of all my vital bodily fluids and leave me a shriveled wreck of a man."

"Listen, you bloody semen hoarder, the only thing shriveled about you will be your testicles after the cold showers you'll have to take when I'm studying for finals. Not only would I _not_ drain you, I'd see to it you were constantly replenished. I'd refill you and fulfill you, just as you would me. When was the last time you ejaculated into a live female, Will? What are you preserving it for? Posterity? Half the women here would go home with you right now if you just had the courage to ask. But, noooo. You're above all that. You prefer self-enforced celibacy and self-flagellation.

"Okay, I'll admit it, your voice, lips, legs, eyes, ass, and brains turn me on. So what? Lots of women do that to me."

"Name one. Go ahead, name even one. … I'm waiting, Will."

"Okay, so there isn't one right now. That's just because I'm still not ready for a relationship after all I went through with Terri and then Emma."

"Boo hoo. Next I suppose you'll try to tell me that I'm taking advantage of you in your hour of weakness. My, how the tables have turned from when moments ago you conceitedly tried to claim it was you who shouldn't be exploiting the psychological advantage you have over me."

"I know who I am, but I don't know who you really are. You're young, you haven't lived. How do I know you're not some hysterical, unbalanced teenager, like Suzy Pepper? Sure, you screwed some 16-year old's brains out. That's not the same thing as having an illicit and illegal affair with your teacher. What if you crack up because I won't marry you or run off with you or be your prom date? It's not _your_ career that will be ruined."

"I've gone out and performed brilliantly every single time I've been asked, sometimes under great pressure. My GPA is approaching 5. I'm the hardest working student you've ever met. I have a shot at a great career. My dads are more wonderful than you can possibly know and the suggestion that I'd ever do anything to hurt them would be a terrible insult. There's a lot more between us than sexual attraction. Do I have to enumerate? … No, I didn't think so. If sex were all I wanted, I can get it anytime now, after Finn. And if sex with older men were all I wanted, I could get that too. I've had offers. It's you and all that you are that I'm asking for. Come with me."

"Ouch. That hurts. Jesus. The women's toilet?"

"It's single occupancy. No one's looking. Get in there. … [_Click_] Kiss me."

[_Two minutes later_.]

"My place?"

"Sure."


End file.
